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[Series Vol. 4 | The Salary Raise Negotiation!] Keeping Conversations on Track: How to Recognize and Overcome Common “Psychological Traps”
In Vol. 3 of the series “The Salary Raise Negotiation”, we explored how to balance salary expectations with role fulfillment. Read HERE.
Continuing with Vol. 4 – and also the closing chapter of the series, this article looks back at the common “breaking points” that often derail salary discussions, and shares proven phrases and techniques to help managers regain productive dialogue.
The aim is not only to manage “crisis moments” in negotiations, but to sustain a spirit of collaboration and steer every conversation toward future growth and development.
1 | Trap #1: Misreading the “Market Benchmark”
When Each Side Holds a Different View
Common situation:
An employee believes they’re being underpaid compared to the market, while the manager tries to respond with internal data. The more they argue, the wider the perception gap grows – and the conversation quickly stalls.
How to resolve:
Instead of rebutting directly, acknowledge the external data’s relevance and reframe the discussion using a holistic evaluation structure:
“External market information is indeed a valuable reference. Our company also gathers data from multiple sources to ensure objectivity. However, when determining compensation, we consider three key factors: market benchmark, role scope, and each individual’s contribution. Let’s review both perspectives together.”
Key takeaway:
Restore mutual understanding by bringing in a two-sided view: the market reality and the actual role value.
2 | Trap #2: Emotional Reasoning
“When I Feel My Efforts Aren’t Recognized”
Common situation:
The dialogue drifts away from performance criteria and moves into emotion-based statements:
“I don’t feel appreciated,” “I think my manager doesn’t see my progress,” etc.
At this point, the negotiation stops being solution–oriented.
How to resolve:
Ask clarifying questions to uncover specific situations, instead of reacting emotionally:
“I’d really like to understand that better. Could you share some concrete examples of when you felt this way? We can revisit those moments together to identify what might need adjusting.”
Key takeaway:
Put emotions into context. Move from feelings to facts so both sides can work with actionable data.
3 | Trap #3: Getting Stuck on Numbers
Forgetting the Talk Is Really About Value
Common situation:
The employee makes a fixed demand (e.g., a specific salary figure) while the manager can only respond “yes” or “no.” The discussion reaches an impasse.
How to resolve:
Take a step back and shift the focus to how the job scope aligns with the desired salary level:
“I see you’re aiming for X. In your view, what expanded responsibilities would the role need to include to correspond with that level? Let’s explore this together.”
Key takeaway:
Don’t reject the request outright—redirect the conversation toward scope and contribution value.
4 | Trap #4: “Compared with Last Year…”
When the Negotiation Gets Pulled into the Past
Common situation:
The employee compares this year’s raise with last year’s. When a manager responds, “That was a different time,” the discussion tends to end abruptly.
How to resolve:
Shift focus from the past to upcoming goals and commitments:
“Salary adjustments aren’t only based on last year’s performance, but also on the role expectations for the coming period. Let’s clarify the objectives and contributions you’d like to take on moving forward.”
Key takeaway:
Replace past comparison with future commitment to realign the negotiation toward development.
Three Golden Principles for Restoring Constructive Negotiation
Regardless of which “trap” you encounter, managers can always apply these three guiding principles:
Listen first – respond later:
This demonstrates respect and helps reduce tension during discussions.
Balance numbers with contributions:
When both parties focus on job value, figures become the natural outcome.
Keep a forward-looking mindset:
Every salary decision should link directly with professional growth—this ensures sustainable alignment.
When Negotiation Becomes a Development Dialogue
As we conclude The Salary Raise Negotiation series, ICONIC believes:
“A salary negotiation isn’t just about reaching a number—it’s an opportunity for both sides to define a growth pathway and forge mutual commitment.”
A successful negotiation extends beyond a simple win–win. It ignites long-term motivation—for both employees and the organization.
